Hey man sorry I got all grabby
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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