He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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