Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
