I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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