Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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