Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
