Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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