apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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