well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
