I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
