Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
