How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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