Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
