just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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