i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
