How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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