tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Everything about him screamed your future.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
