oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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