Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
