we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
