that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize