Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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