Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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