whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
