I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
