he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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