sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it was like eating out sand paper
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
