if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
