sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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