please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
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Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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