What a fucking waste of an outfit
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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