she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
