Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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