STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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