Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
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I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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