Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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