dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So apparently I’m into choking now
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
