But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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