I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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