My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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