I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
