is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
