found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I understand Curling. That high.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
