he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Walk of Shame today included voting.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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