as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
