The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
