my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I want her autograph on my taint
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
