You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
