Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
