Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
