Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
