Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
