her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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