Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
