I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
