I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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