This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
